The Voice in Your Head Is Shaping Your Performance
How do you speak to yourself after you fail?
Not after you succeed.
Not after a great game.
Not when everything is going your way.
But after the strikeout.
After the error.
After the bad performance.
After the moment you feel embarrassed, frustrated, or not good enough.
Because the truth is, your self-talk may be impacting your performance more than your mechanics ever will.
One of the disciplines I’ve committed to throughout my career is reading. I read mental performance and sports psychology material every single day for at least an hour because I want to continue sharpening my craft and helping athletes like you perform at your highest level.
Yesterday, I started reading a book called Next Play by Alan Stein Jr.. If that name sounds familiar, I’ve mentioned him before when I talked about the famous story of him watching Kobe Bryant train early in the morning. The lesson from that story was simple:
Never get bored with the basics.
But in Chapter 3 of Next Play, Alan talks about something I believe is absolutely critical for athletes: self-talk.
The title of the chapter instantly grabbed my attention:
“Tell Yourself How Great You Are.”
I love that title because it challenges the way most athletes speak to themselves.
Too many athletes believe being hard on themselves is what creates greatness. They think criticism equals accountability. But often, constant self-criticism destroys confidence, increases anxiety, and keeps athletes trapped in fear.
Alan writes:
“We are all the products of our self-talk, and how we speak to ourselves shapes our entire life experience.”
Think about that for a second.
Your inner voice is shaping your confidence, your emotions, your focus, your resilience, and ultimately your performance.
If your internal dialogue constantly says:
“I always mess up.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I choke under pressure.”
“Coach probably doesn’t trust me.”
…your body eventually starts performing in alignment with those beliefs.
That’s why I often share this quote from Thomas S. Monson:
“We are the product of all we read, all we view, all we hear and all we think.”
You truly become what you repeatedly think about.
And who you surround yourself with matters too. The environments you live in, the conversations you hear, the people you follow online, and the words spoken over you all shape the narrative in your head.
But here’s the question I want you to wrestle with:
Are you speaking to yourself the way you would speak to someone you truly care about?
Because I can almost guarantee this:
You would never talk to your teammate the way you sometimes talk to yourself.
You’d encourage them.
You’d support them.
You’d remind them they’re capable.
You’d help them reset.
Yet many athletes mentally destroy themselves after every mistake.
The greatest athletes in the world understand this principle deeply.
Serena Williams has openly talked about verbally coaching herself during matches:
“You’ve got this. Stay strong. One point at a time.”
That’s intentional self-talk.
Tom Brady has discussed how he resets mentally after mistakes instead of spiraling emotionally.
These athletes don’t wait around hoping confidence magically appears.
They build confidence with repetition, preparation, and the words they consistently feed themselves.
And I want you to understand something important:
Confidence is not just something you feel.
Confidence is something you practice.
So the next time you fail, instead of attacking yourself mentally, pause and ask:
What would I say to a teammate right now?
What would a great coach say to me?
What would someone who truly loved me remind me of?
Then start speaking to yourself that way.
Because how you speak to yourself becomes:
how you perform,
how you respond to adversity,
how you carry yourself under pressure,
and ultimately, who you become.
So here’s your assignment.
I want you to pay attention to your self-talk for the next week.
Write down:
The negative phrases you repeat most often.
What triggers them.
A new empowering phrase you can replace them with.
Maybe it becomes:
“Next play.”
“I’m prepared for this.”
“One pitch at a time.”
“Stay calm and compete.”
“I can handle pressure.”
Small shifts in language create massive shifts in performance over time.
The truth is simple:
Your performance will rarely rise above the level of your self-talk.
So change the conversation happening in your mind… and you can change your confidence, your composure, and your future as an athlete.
If you’re ready to strengthen your mental game and train your mindset with the same intensity as your physical skills, visit www.dangazaway.com and let’s get to work.
